Blog

Are you living your full potential?

07 Sep 2017 04:51:00 GMT

In my work, I frequently speak with people who are disenchanted with their lives. “I feel so frustrated … I’ve been doing the same thing at work for years and I just can’t seem to get ahead.” “I feel lost. I know I am capable of doing more but have no idea how to achieve what I really want to do.” “Maybe I’m just not meant to do anything else. I mean, who am I to want more?” I find this very sad. It’s like we’ve bought into some idea that we have to achieve world-wide recognition for who we are and what we do before we will give ourselves permission to go for what we really want in life. Comparing ourselves to others is the other obstacle I believe stands in our way. When we can see someone already doing something really well that we’d like to do, we tell ourselves ‘well, I’ll never be that good – so why bother?’ If you know there is untapped potential within you, here are three steps you can take today to start moving in your desired direction for greater fulfilment and satisfaction in your life. 1. Your Skills Inventory Grab some paper and pen. Write a list of those skills and talents you know you possess that are not currently being utilised. Are you creative? Good at problem solving? A great connector of people? A fantastic cook? Do you have an amazing ability to focus on detail? Are you good at creating systems and processes? Resist temptation right now to limit your thinking to only those things that might lead to making money. Think of the whole of you – and especially those things that bring you joy. 2. Pick a skill you want to put to work Which one? Aim for one that brings you the most sense of achievement – the most happiness – the most sense of pride.Now come up with one or two ways you could start to bring that skill to life. Again, it doesn’t need to be related to your income-producing role. I know many, many people who are fairly happy at work and not wishing to change jobs who find their skills put to great use in their volunteering roles. And this leads to them feeling more fulfilled, happy and satisfied in their lives. Perhaps there’s a community group who needs exactly what you have. Or you could start a new group, using these skills – maybe even teaching them to others who want to learn these. Or it could be a neighbour or friend who could use your help. Trust me – your talents are needed somewhere. Your mission is to find that place. Neighbourhood houses, community associations, local volunteering groups and causes you’d like to support are all great starting points. 3. Take the first step Often we get stuck because we can’t see the entire process that will lead us to our goal. Trust me – you don’t have to know the whole thing at the start. You just need to know your first step. Is it a phone call? Talking to your neighbour? Chatting to someone who is already involved in a group or association where you would like to help? Simply select a first step – and take action. I’m not for a moment suggesting this is an all-inclusive list of what you can do to live your full potential. I do believe it’s small – and that helps making a start achievable. Take a first step … and trust the next step will appear as and when it needs to. Good luck!

Why we've got to stop talking about "Work/Life Balance"!

14 Jul 2017 08:02:00 GMT

Work/Life Balance doesn't exist - and while we continue to strive to achieve it, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. Why? The phrase itself suggests a couple things that are inherent in the problem: 1. 'Work' and 'Life' are two entirely separate entities - that there is no overlap, and even worse - that there's no "life" at "work"! 2. It implies we could package up all the 'work' stuff in one box, the 'life' stuff in another box, place them at opposite ends of a balance ... then hold our breath and pray nothing in either box ever changes. Because if it does, we'll be out of balance! Having to work late to meet a deadline, leave work early to collect a sick child from school ... even small events like these can subconsciously leave us feeling "out of balance". Much better if we scrap the saying altogether, and merely ask ourselves on a regular basis "Am I happy with how I am spending my time?" I'm delighted to have been quoted on My Deal.com.au - and you can read the other contributors' suggestions for living a happier life here: https://www.mydeal.com.au/blog/post/work-hard-play-hard Remember - life is to be enjoyed! So get to it!

What does it take to achieve Work/Life Balance? (is it even possible?)

22 Jun 2017 07:26:00 GMT

Frankly, no. It's not possible - and we are causing ourselves untold frustration and disappointment while we keep trying to achieve it! Why do I say this? Well, think for a minute about the phrase itself - Work/Life Balance There's two key problems with this. It suggests that 'work' and 'life' are totally separate. That as human beings, we can keep these two aspects of our lives as two discrete components, never ever letting them overlap or touch each other. What rubbish! We all know what happens at work impacts our life outside of work and vice versa. (And even worse, this phrase suggests there's no 'life' at work. 'Life' is something that only happens outside of the hours we spend generating an income. Jeepers - that's depressing, isn't it?) It also suggests that we can package up all the aspects of 'work' and all the aspects of 'life' - and then put these two boxes at opposite ends of a set of scales. We tweak and fiddle and adjust until the scales are level (or balanced). Then we hold our breath and pray nothing ever changes! If one of our kids or parents gets sick and needs help - oops! We're out of balance! If we have to put in some extra hours to reach a business deadline - oh no! Out of balance! See what I mean? So the first step is to STOP attempting to achieve 'balance'! And let's call it something else - something more realistic, truthful and attainable: Happiness with how we spend our time A key to this is to reflect over a longer period of time than simple a day or a week or so. Because within each day or week, there are bound to be unforeseen events that we simply couldn't plan for. Things that catapult up the priority list and require us to adjust our plans. Maybe a month is a good starting point. Ask yourself ... Within the past four weeks, overall, am I spending my time the way I'd like and prioritising the things that are important to me? If the answer is 'no', then Houston, we have a problem. And it's not going to go away all by itself. It's time to get back into the driver's seat of your life and start steering along the path you really want to travel. Here's five strategies to get you started ... 1. Think Big Picture Reflect on the past month. Ask yourself the question: "Have I lived according to my priorities and do I consider my time well spent?" If the answer is 'no', grab a sheet of paper and quickly (without analysis or judgement) jot down all the reasons for your answer. What did you spend your time doing that you wish you hadn't? What important things slipped by the wayside? Then look ahead to the next month and plan how you will avoid these traps in the coming weeks. 2. Examine other people's expectations of you Often when we feel unhappy with how we've spent our time, on reflection we can see that we have been driven to meet others' expectations at the expense of our own needs and wants. Are the expectations other people have of you reasonable? Is there room for negotiation about any aspects of their requests? Do you need to be more assertive and express your boundaries more clearly? 3. Know your Not Negotiables One reason we can succumb to saying 'yes' to others a lot of the time is that we aren't yet clear on what is truly, deeply important to us. We simply bounce from responding to one request to the next without considering how this will impact on our time and energy reserves. Your Not Negotiables are the things you place a high priority on for yourself. It might be ensuring you get X number hours of exercise per week, arriving home in time each Thursday to take your child to their sports training - or even taking work home a maximum of one night a week allowing you to have important time for family, friends and your own relaxation. Once you know what's truly important to you, it becomes easier and easier to say 'no', draw those boundaries for yourself and negotiate agreements that can work for everyone involved. 4. Use Creative Negotiation Stop thinking 'Win/Lose'. Typically in negotiations, both parties approach the situation with a mindset of one party will 'win' exactly what they want, and the other will 'lose' all they desire. Yet there are often at least a couple options that will satisfy both parties. For example ... Your boss wants you to work late tonight to complete a report they need by 9am tomorrow. You want to leave work at 5pm to keep your commitment to meet a friend for dinner. A possible solution is to take the work home with you and complete it after dinner with your friend. Another option is to come in early the next day to complete the report before 9am. Moving from 'Win/Lose' to 'how can everybody win?' might just lead you to some really useful and practical solutions. 5. Become a detective Go on a quest to find wasted time you can reclaim for you. Reading a book or listening to a podcast while commuting puts that time to better use than worrying about the day or fretting about deadlines. Get conscious of exactly how much time you spend on social media - and if it's bringing you the dividends you want. Watching TV can certainly be relaxing and enjoyable - but sometimes it's worth asking yourself 'is watching this better than XYZ?' (The XYZ could be reading a book, calling a friend, enjoying a hobby ...) Once you start getting fully aware of how you are allocating your time each day, I'm confident you'll find some pockets here and there where you can invest in more satisfying and pleasurable activities. Remember ... it's your life, your time - and YOUR bus you're driving!

The Secret to handling ‘Difficult' People

13 Apr 2017 03:20:00 GMT

(WARNING: Your life as you know it is about to change) “How can I handle difficult people?” Answer – you can’t. “Wait – what? You mean I’m stuck with them in my life?” Answer – it all depends on how you look at it. First things first. Logically, we all know we can’t change other people. We can’t ‘make’ them say certain things, do certain things, behave in certain ways. The only thing we are guaranteed to be able to change is ourselves. And the first thing I believe that needs to change is how we look at these people we label as ‘difficult’. (Yes, I am writing that word in quotes for a reason.) Here’s a question: Hands up if you find people who are consistently late for meetings and appointments ‘difficult’. Did your hand go up? When I ask this in workshops, never have all hands in the room been raised. Some find this behaviour difficult to deal with, while others don’t. Hands up if you find people who talk a lot difficult. Same response – never do 100% of the people I ask this question tell me they find this difficult. So here’s the reality – If ‘being late’ was in and of itself difficult, then everyone would say they find it difficult. The same thing is true with talkative people. If their behaviour was in and of itself difficult, 100% of us would label this behaviour as difficult to deal with. The vast majority of the time, when we find someone’s else’s behaviour difficult, it’s because they are doing some so different to what we would do. If you are a punctual person, then you’re likely to find people who are consistently late frustrating and irritating. And if you are a quieter person, then very talkative people can feel hard to interact with. I fervently believe that people aren’t ‘difficult’ … they’re different. Continuing to think of people as difficult will kick-start a range of neurological responses in you that are not helpful to clear, effective communication. “Oh no – here come Fred – he’s so darn difficult to deal with – he just won’t stop talking!” Thinking like this will cause your muscles to tighten, your jaw to clench, your breathing will change and you won’t be able to think as clearly as you otherwise would. And all of this will most definitely impact the nature of the interaction you have with Fred. So give it a try … next time you see that ‘difficult’ person, take a deep breath and say to yourself “Oh – here comes Fred. He certainly is very different to me.” I absolutely guarantee, your exchange with Fred will be different. You won’t have changed him – but you certainly will have changed your reaction and internal state to one that’s far more resourceful and beneficial to effective communication between the two of you. (Of course, there is more to this story … but that’s for a future blog post, so stay tuned. And if you want some help in dealing with ‘difficult’ I mean different people in the meantime, drop me a line at sandi@sandigivens.com.au – I’d be happy to help.)

Your Good-Enough List (A critical Sanity-Saving Tool)

28 Mar 2017 06:00:00 GMT

I recently attended a three-day women’s festival that I attended for the first time in 2016. It’s never the same the second, third or umpteenth time around is it? First of all, there’s that ‘first time newness’ that we can only get once. “Wow! Look at that!” “Goodness, that’s amazing!” And so on … because we are seeing things through fresh, first-time eyes. In our subsequent visits, while we look for that same magic, but logically know it will be different than our beloved ‘first-time’. We then start to notice what’s not there that we liked the previous year(s), and lament “But I really liked that!” So this year, I decided to focus instead on what was new, different and intriguing. And that’s how I came across The Release Tree. Meditate or reflect on something in your life you’d like to let go of, write it on a little wooden heart, tie it to the tree and release it with love. (Hang on … if I want to let go of this, how and why do I release it with love? I discovered the answer to that question, but that’s a topic for another blog post … stay tuned!) I went to The Release Tree several times during those three days – there’s been a lot going on in my life lately that left me with a lot of negative emotions and feelings. For me, the magic truly worked. Yet every time I visited the tree, I also became incredibly (almost overwhelmingly) sad. As the three days progressed, that tree was getting very full, I can tell you. Like a lot of other festival-goers, I’d take the time to see what other women had decided to let go of, and it struck me there were most definitely ‘themes’ in the things being hung on that tree. For instance, one theme was that of ‘letting go of my worries about what I cannot control’. Often a challenge, that’s for sure. (and if you can relate to that, I highly recommend reading what the late, great Stephen Covey said about our Circle of Concern and our Circle of Influence). The absolute stand-out, most referred to theme was not being enough. “I’m not old enough” “I’m not smart enough” I’m not outgoing enough” “I’m not brave enough” And then … the most ‘popular’: “I’m not good enough” I can’t tell you how many little wooden hearts had that written on them. For me, it really felt heartbreaking. I could ponder for hours about how we, as women, got this way. Yet more important to me is how to we undo this? How do we start to feel we are actually good enough? Confession time: this feeling of not being good enough has plagued me most of my life. And just when I think I’ve got it pretty well handled, up pops another situation where I can hear the voice in my head saying “Who do you think you are? You’re not XYZ enough to do this!” (I’d fill in the XYZ with any adjective related to the situation I found myself in.) And then the voice gets louder (so I can’t ignore it), speaks in absolutes like “never” (so I feel the situation and my feelings can’t change) and becomes pervasive (before I know it, there isn’t a single area of my life in which I actually feel I am good enough). If you’d like to read a great book about changing this kind of self-talk, I can’t recommend Martin Seligman’s Learned Optimism book highly enough. But back to not being good enough … On my meditative walk the other day, an idea suddenly hit me: why not create my very own, personal Good Enough List? It needs to cover a whole lot of areas of my life and various endeavours I apply myself to, such as … How many times a week do I need to swim to feel that’s good enough for me? And how many laps in what amount of time is good enough? How often do I need to vacuum, dust and clean the toilets for it to be good enough for me? How many clients do I want/need to work with to feel I am doing good enough in my work? (Excuse the bad grammar there) How many projects and tasks do I need to complete each week to feel good enough about my productivity? I’m sure you get the idea here. It’s about having your own measurements about these things. Yes, we live in a competitive world, and we most likely have become very conditioned to compare ourselves and our ‘results’ to others. Sometimes this is helpful, useful and, well, just how the world works. Like when you nominate yourself for an award of some sort – you know the whole process will cause you and others to compare you to others. Yet, I think it’s vital we avoid this constant comparing in any contexts of our lives that we can. Only then will we be able to have the space and opportunity to think about what our personal standards really are. What’s right for us? What’s good enough? All this reminds me of a story I read many years ago. It’s about a fisherman relaxing with his fishing rods beside him on a pier. A businessman came by and asked him what he was doing. “Why aren’t you out fishing?” The fisherman replied “I’ve caught enough fish for the day.” The businessman goes on to say “but if you caught more fish, you could earn more money. Then you could buy a boat, go into deeper waters, catch more fish, make more money … and soon you could own two boats – maybe even a fleet of fishing boats. Then you would be a rich man like me, and then, well, you could really enjoy life!” “What do you think I’m doing right now?” says the fisherman. For you, how much is enough? And what if you are good enough already? Make your Good Enough List – and notice the lightness in your step and the smile on your face. And be proud.

Courage – an expanded definition (It isn't what I thought it was)

14 Mar 2017 20:30:00 GMT

We’ve all heard these definitions … Courage is not the absence of fear, but the conquering of it. (I’ve seen this attributed to Dan Millman) Courage is resistance to fear. (Thanks Mark Twain) Courage is mastery of fear. (Mark Twain again) What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. (Kelly Clarkson made this line famous in her pop song) In other words, grit your teeth and move on regardless. Tough it out. Toughen up. A lot of people who know me say I’m one of the most tenacious, determined, “courageous” people they know. And I’ve always kind of liked this. I’m proud that I ‘hang in there’, dig deep and find my way through challenges. My father (bless you, dad) had a saying that went something like this: “The real measure of a person’s character is how they handle adversity.” And I liked this too – for most of my life. Whenever I was going through a tough time, I’d remember my dad’s words and think ‘keep going, Sandi – you’re developing character. People will admire you for the fact that you’ve made it through all this crap.’ And so I did keep going (though I’m not sure this really earned me brownie points in the admiration-from-other-people stakes). Please don’t think I believe this is all ‘bad’. I don’t. I think resilience in life is a key ingredient not so much for success – but for sanity. Heavens knows things happen every day that can challenge, overwhelm, burden, frighten, hurt and confuse us. Being able to bounce back from all that is imperative if we want to keep living and actually enjoy the ride. What bothers me about these definitions of courage (and even my dear dad’s saying) if that it sets everything up in a combative kind of context. Face it – you’re going to be afraid, so conquer it. (Conquer also conjures up images of a battle, with a ‘conqueror’ and a person or thing that gets ‘conquered’.) You’ve got to resist fear – and to resist means to “to withstand the action or effect of something” (a quick Google search reveals this). And to withstand something, you have to outlast it. Keep working at resisting your fear and hey presto! Away it goes! Mastery of fear? “Comprehensive knowledge or skill in a particular subject or activity” “Control or superiority over someone or something” (thanks Google) Do I really want to feel ‘superior’ to fear? There’s that ‘win/lose’ perspective again … And as for the ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ … jeepers! Are there only 2 choices? Be killed – or get stronger. Combative, adversarial, one wins and the other loses … will it be me or my fear that dies? So … what’s another way to look at courage? One that doesn’t make me (potentially) even more fearful … one that doesn’t leave me feeling I need to gird my loins and prepare for battle? I found it in a wonderful book called The Ten Gifts, by Robin L Silverman. Yes – you guessed it – courage is one of the ten gifts she writes about. And something I really liked was when she assured her readers that we all already have these gifts … but perhaps we aren’t using them. So how does Robin define courage? “A simple willingness to try something your heart desires” Read that again. It’s profound. She adds that she believes that courage isn’t meant to be fearful – it’s meant to be fun. (Yep – another good sentence to read again!) Robin describes it as the “I-can’t-believe-I’m-doing-this, but-I-am!” feeling we get when we find ourselves doing something we always thought was out of our reach. And to this, she suggests rather than fight to prove our courage, we only need to be brave enough to relax and have some fun. Embracing this idea (even though I didn’t realise it at the time), a few weeks ago I’d finish my swim routine at my local pool and noticed the water slides were operational. It was a really hot summer day and the place was swarming with kids and families. Being a slight adrenaline junkie, I thought ‘that looks like fun’ … and before any logical part of my brain could start arguing, I joined the line of kids waiting for their turn. Yes, at some stage during my wait, the little voice in my head suggested I looked foolish/out of place/weird … But I told that little voice to go sit down somewhere in the shade and just enjoy watching. I screamed with delight as I came down that slide! Unintentionally, I said aloud as I got out of the pond I’d landed in “that was fun!” and found my feet taking me back up the hill to have another turn. By this stage, I couldn’t even hear that little voice calling to me from the shade (perhaps it went off to annoy someone else!). I was only focussed on the sheer enjoyment of that wild ride down the watery tunnel. And I wanted more! I honestly can’t tell you how many times I came down that slide. But I can tell you I had a simple willingness to try something my heart desired. I definitely had the feeling of “I-can’t-believe-I’m-doing-this, but-I-am!” … and it was awesome! So, on my daily To Do list now is this: Use your gift of courage – relax and have some fun. How about joining me? What will you find yourself doing when you use your gift of courage? I’d love it if you’d drop me a line and let me know!

When was the last time you Celebrated?

13 Oct 2016 03:46:00 GMT

That’s right – how long has it been since you celebrated? I don’t mean go-out-on-the-town-and-spend-a-fortune celebration … I mean even a simple pause in your day when you gave yourself a pat on the back. And if you work in a team (whether you are the leader according to the organisation chart or your business card), when was the last time the team celebrated an accomplishment? In our now time-poor, rat-race kind of lives, it seems we’ve lost the art of celebration. We’ve come to equate ‘celebrating’ with an event, a specific ‘thing’ that involves money and time (preferably several hours). Yet, it’s the often the easy, simple and ‘small’ (in terms of time spent) celebrations that can create the strongest impact. More importantly, it’s these moments in time that sustain us, re-energise us and equip us with the ability to move forward in a more positive and focused way. The late and much-respected Stephen Covey said this about the true value Quality Time: “Spending time doing things that are ‘Important’ builds our capacity to handle the things that are ‘Urgent’ that come up in our lives.” (from his book, First Things First). In my book, Celebrating is Important, Crises are Urgent – so if I want to be as equipped as possible to be able to deal with the crises … I’ll celebrate every chance I get! In this same book, Stephen also said: “We get a temporary high from solving urgent and important crises. Then when the importance isn’t there, the urgency fix is so powerful we are drawn to do anything urgent, just to stay in motion. People expect us to be busy, overworked. It’s become a status symbol in our society—if we’re busy, we’re important; if we’re not busy, we’re almost embarrassed to admit it. Busyness is where we get our security. It’s validating, popular, and pleasing. It’s also a good excuse for not dealing with the first things in our lives.” So, if you and your team are ready to celebrate, here are 5 quick celebration ideas to kick start your momentum! Over morning coffee, have everyone thank someone else in the team for something they’ve done recently that’s benefitted the team, a client, a stakeholder or any individual in the team. No need for lengthy, prepared speeches – a heart-felt and sincere acknowledgement is what you’re after. Start Monday mornings with a quick round of Last Week’s Wins. Nothing is too small to mention – and it doesn’t matter who says what. What matters is that the team has their attention focused on the good stuff that happened that would be easily forgotten if not highlighted at the start of the week. Have a whiteboard or flip chart hung near the coffee/tea facilities and begin creating a culture where people can either (a) make a note of their wins to share with the team, or (b) say thanks to someone for their contribution. Organise a multi-cultural BYO lunch where team members bring a food item from their country of origin to share. During lunch, weave the conversation around to a discussion about (a) why it’s great to come from , or (b) why it’s great to live in Australia … or (c) why it’s great to work with the of . Print some ‘thumbs up’ cards. These could literally be a picture of a hand in a ‘thumbs up’ gesture (be aware of potential cultural sensitivities within your team about this gesture, though), or could have a variety of words/phrases on them, such as “well done!”, “good job!”, “nice work!”. Distribute cards to all team members for them to be able to give to other team mates or simply leave on their desks as a surprise. So … what are you waiting for? Go do some celebrating! I guarantee it will lift morale, mood and productivity.

Do your Team Members feel like they belong?

14 Jan 2015 13:25:00 GMT

To belong: "To be proper, appropriate, or suitable" "To be in an appropriate situation or environment" "To be a member of a group, such as a club" "To fit into a group naturally" "To be a part of something else" From The Free Dictionary - http://www.thefreedictionary.com/belong The sense of belonging is one of our fundamental human needs. The American psychologist, Abraham Maslow, is widely known for creating his model of Hierarchy of Needs in which the 3rd level of the hierarchy is Belongingness & Love Needs (family, friends, relationships, affection and work groups). Maslow's premise is that innate human needs must be fulfilled in order of the hierarchy (needs at the 3rd level can't be met until needs in the 2nd level have been met, and level 2 needs can't be met unless those at level 1 have been fulfilled). That's good news for most leaders in our business world. Level 1 (basic life needs such as Air, Food, Drink, Shelter, Warmth and Sleep) and Level 2 (Physical Safety, Protection, Stability and Order) tend to be met for the vast majority of our team members. So that takes us to Level 3 - belonging. If we look at the definitions above, this means that as a leader, part of your job is to ensure each and every staff member needs to feel / experience ... that they are suitable and appropriate in your team that they fit into the team naturally that they are actually a part of something else, and not merely operating in isolation Want some tips on how to do this? Tell them regularly and informally they are doing a great job. Let them know their contribution is valued. Build a culture of acceptance of differences in your team. Speak openly and frequently about the natural, yet differing gifts, that each member brings to the table that ultimately creates synergy and the best possible outcomes. Ensure team members fully understand what piece of the puzzle they are and where they fit in the big picture. (If you've ever done a jigsaw puzzle, you know how frustrating it is to look at the almost completed picture that's missing one single piece.) Let your team know their piece is important and the team simply wouldn't be complete without them. Why the theme of belonging this month? On January 26th (Australia Day), my husband is becoming an Australian citizen. (Our son is plotting to have a bunch of his university mates there, all dressed up in Aussie gear, sporting red, white and blue face paint, carrying inflatable kangaroos and shouting "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie ... Oi, Oi, Oi! But that's another story ...) Alan has lived here since 5 years of age, having migrated from the UK with his dad and brother. He's paid taxes and voted here all his adult life. Yet when he went to apply for a passport, he was told he wasn't a citizen. In a strange sort of way, this conveys a message of 'you don't really belong here - you're not none of us'. (Jesse and I joked about the possibility of Alan getting deported after all these years. Thankfully he passed the exam and the interview, so our family can remain in tact!) Imagine one of your team asking to attend a meeting, join a particular project, requesting additional responsibility of some sort, applying for a promotion ... Might a negative reply to any of these convey a message of not really and truly belonging? Might it leave them with the thought of 'what else do I need to do around here to be accepted?' Naturally, there are going to be times when our staff receive a negative response to a request they make. And that's all the more reason we need to ensure they've experienced plenty of belongingness in their working world to leave them feeling valued and secure. Want more help with creating cohesion and belongingness in your team? I'm here to help - give me a call and let's chat. (I'd love to read your comments below ... on a scale of 10 (10 being tops!), what score would you give for the sense of belonging in your team? And what rating would your team members give?)

Success is about direction, not necessarily speed!

02 Dec 2014 14:35:00 GMT

We often think of 'success' as reaching the goal, or completing the task. Not true! One of my favourite quotes describes this so well: Progress is often more about direction than speed. While we define progress - or success - as the ultimate completion of something, we deprive ourself of enjoying and celebrating the steps we've taken along the way. Yesterday I wrote about cleaning up my office - and noticing the effect of this on my mind ad productivity. I'm pleased to say, it's still working - yeah! I did work late last night (happily) and entered my office with a renewed sense of purpose. It's not yet lunch time and I've done the 3 most critical tasks for my day (as well as having had my monring 1.2 kms swim). I feel energised and clear headed. I've done one task I've been procrastinating about for weeks (I'm ashamed to say - but proud to tell you it's now DONE!) So ... what small tweaks and changes can you make TODAY that will clear the way forward for a brighter, happier, better tomorrow?

Cleaned my Office ... Cleared my Mind!

02 Dec 2014 07:17:00 GMT

I have a bad habit. Being a visual processor, I fall into the bad habit of leaving stuff around my office so I can see it ... so I don't forget it. Bad move! The stacks of paper had reached gargantuan proportions, and I'd really started to lose the plot. So today, I'm proud to say I kept the promise to myself to spend at least 30 minutes throwing out paper. It snowballed into over an hour of sorting, throwing, filing and organising. And now ... lo and behold, I find my brain is in high gear and I don't want to stop work. Have all these ideas in my head about articles to write, webinars to create, clients to call ... Next step: prioritise! So ... what do you need to do to clear your mind and get more productive?

The Top 5 Reasons Corporate Training Fails

09 Oct 2014 17:43:00 GMT

Thousands of organisations spend countless dollars on training and developing their employees every year. Yet they fail to see any tangible result that adds value to the business. What are they doing wrong – and how can it be fixed? Unclear Outcomes All too often, decision-makers set a ‘big picture’ goal for the results of the training. “We need better teamwork” or “The staff need time management skills”. Digging a bit deeper – by actually talking with the staff themselves – might reveal specifically what is blocking teamwork and better time management. Perhaps what’s actually needed is skills in working with different work styles effectively or dealing with interruptions politely and firmly. Learners are Prisoners I’ve lost count of the times that I’ve faced a room full of people who’ve been sent to me to ‘fix them’. No one has asked them if they want to – or feel the need to – attend this program. They haven’t been told what to expect, what’s in it for them, how they will benefit … much less been asked what they really need to learn to help them be better at their jobs. One-Day Fixes Put them in a room for a day, give them a great lunch, add a bit of entertainment and laughter, then inject them with some enthusiasm, motivation. There you go … all fixed. Rubbish! Humans need time to learn, absorb, consider, reflect and apply new skills. You’ll get far better ROI from a program that is delivered in short bite-sized chunks over a longer period of time. I guarantee it – and the research proves it, too. No Ongoing Support OK – the employees have returned and they’ve got it all handled. The can use their new wisdom and skills with 100% accuracy 100% of the time. Right? Of course not. Yet organisations that fail to provide post-learning support in the form of coaching, implementation activities and opportunities to ask questions and share concerns act as if the learner is super-human. Ongoing support may be provided by line managers, the L & D department, internal experts and mentors and/or external providers. Head in the Sand ‘If there’s no obvious problems, then everything must be alright. Surely we only need to train our staff when they clearly don’t know what they’re doing.’ Wrong. In this scenario, what you don’t know can indeed hurt you. What’s slipping through the cracks? What’s happening on the internal grapevine? Who’s complaining about what and who around the place? What opportunities have we missed? You’re the leader. Knowing the answers to these questions – and dozens of others – is most definitely part of your responsibilities. There you have it. If you want more tangible, observable ROI from your L & D dollars, avoid these traps and implement these solutions. It’s never, ever too late to start.

Double-speak and Silence hide the truth

14 Jan 2014 21:32:00 GMT

Irrespective of what your stance is on how we should deal with Australia's asylum seekers, this post holds some important truths for all our leaders. Stephen Yolland is a well-known Australian/British businessman, with expertise in marketing and advertising. He is a writer, social and political thinker, media presenter and author. (I confess, I'd never really known of him before I came across his post today.) In his post about Immigration Minister Morrison and the significant drop in communication to the public regarding 'Operation Sovereign Borders' (the new government's initiative to stop asylum seeker boats from landing here), Yolland suggests that: silence is not golden when it is designed to mislead us, and obscure the truth. And I agree. So many organisations are headed up by leaders who are lacking the courage to speak the truth to their troops. So in countless instances, they say nothing. They rationalise this by saying things like 'what they don't know can't hurt them' and 'I don't want to lie to them so I prefer to say nothing'. Well hear this - you can lie by omission. That's right. Not telling people something you know is of interest to them and/or impacts them in some way is lying. So gut some gumption leaders. Use your voice - tell the truth - quit treating people like sheep (or worse ... we all know that saying ...) If you can't do this, then please move on and make room for someone who's truly ready to lead. PS. You can read Yolland's full post here: http://wellthisiswhatithink.wordpress.com/2014/01/15/morrison/?blogsub=confirming#blog_subscription-2

5 Tips to Say 'No' Graciously

17 Dec 2013 01:30:00 GMT

Especially at this time of year, we can be pulled in 1001 different directions with so many demands on our time and attention. So here are 5 very specific techniques to help you say 'no' when you want - or need! - to! Remind yourself you are refusing the request not the person themselves. You might even remind the other person of this, too. "John, you know I've helped you in the past whenever possible - and it's just not possible for me to do that (or 'meet that deadline') for you right now." Offer what you CAN do. Sure - it may not be the whole kit and caboodle they are asking for, but is there some amount of assistance you can offer? Give a brief mention of the reason for your 'no' before actually saying it. Why? We all know ourselves that when we hear a 'I can't do that because ...' from someone, we rarely hear their explanation ... we're too busy thinking about our 'counter argument' and how we'll pressure them to say yes! So instead say "Mary, because of XYZ, I'm not able to help you / attend that function this time." Focus on being Polite, Honest, Clear (being brief is the best way to achieve this) and Clean (without blaming the other person in any way). And stay focussed on the one current request - even if the other person starts to dredge out a historical litany of all the times they've helped you! Thanks to my good friend and colleague, Robyn Henderson (www.networkingtowin.com.au), I now use this to help me decide if I can assist: "Give without remembering ... Receive without forgetting." How does this help me? I stop and consider if I can meet the request freely - without marking it up on my mental scorecard with the other person 'owing me one'. If this is the case, then I will be giving with resentment and/or string attached, which is not the spirit I want to come from. So if I decide on this basis to say 'no', I make use of the first 4 techniques to help me do so. Wishing you success in saying 'no', drawing boundaries for yourself and being more in control of your life! And all the best for the festive season and 2014 - see you next year!

A Fatal Leadership Mistake!

30 Oct 2013 14:12:00 GMT

I heard it again this week. I've heard it many times before. Unfortunately I'll probably hear it again in the future - more than a couple of times. "Sandi ... my staff member's performance has been terrible for months now ... but I just don't know how to handle it. What can I do?" Hmmm ... where shall I start? It's more than amazing to me (and frustrating, I'm sure to other employees) that a leader cannot, will not deal with poor performance. Far too often, I see leaders adopt the attitude of 'if i just ignore it, it will go away". Not true! I've seen low-performing staff 'carried' by others for months - even years - on end. Leaders waiting for them to leave of their own accord do so at their own peril. While the under-perfoming employee remains, morale goes down the tube, team performance targets are missed, gossip and back-stabbing increase and stress levels go through the roof. Leaders must learn the skills of perfomance management and being capable and confident in having those tough conversations that no one really enjoys but they have to happen. Want some help in developing these skills? Send me an email at request@sandigivens.com.au and I'll happily have a coaching session with you by phone to get you started. It's my gift to you - and the rest of your team. So contact me now at request@sandigivens.com.au - delaying will only make things worse, I assure you!

Conflict always involves more than one person!

14 Oct 2013 04:45:00 GMT

Seems obvious, doesn't it? Yet, it's surprising to me how many people forget this.When focussed on 'who's to blame', people involved are looking for the singular person who caused it all. Wrong! In this article, http://rapidlearninginstitute.com/hrcafe/managing-team-conflict, the author suggests follwing a simple 'ACES Method' for resolving Team Conflict. The 'ACES' approach described here seems a bit simplistic to me. The acronym stands for (1) Acknowledge there's a conflict, (2) Clarify what the conflict is about, (3), Enlist the parties' support for finding a solution, and (4) Suggest ways to Solve the conflict. What's missing? Just as it 'takes two to tango', serious conflict requires all parties to acknowledge (to themselves and each other) that (a) they have been hurt/damaged/negatively impacted in the situation, and (b) they have CAUSED hurt/damage/negtative impact on others. "But I didn't mean to upset them!" Intentionally or not, consciously or not, people need to accept responsibility for their part in the conflict. If you'd like to discuss the conflict in your organisation and how I might help, please make contact at http://www.sandigivens.com.au/speak_with_sandi ;

You CAN Transform your Team!

17 Sep 2013 21:02:00 GMT

Our popular Breakfast Seminar on Leading & Transforming Difficult Teams is running again in Melbourne on 26th Sept (that's next week!). You get a BONUS Session, too! How to give Effective Feedback & have those difficult conversations! All details and registration form are here: http://www.sandigivens.com.au/leading_and_transforming_difficult_teams Seats really are limited (honest) ... so if you know this would help you, take action now! Hope we see you then!

Quoted in The Age on how to stop Office Gossip

12 Sep 2013 10:00:00 GMT

For the Business section of The Age, I was interviewed to provide expert comment on the impact of office gossip - and how to put an end to it. Here's the article in full: How to gag office gossip Date July 23, 2013 Caroline James Gossip is like cancer in the workplace. Here's how to stop it. Gossip in a workplace is as ubiquitous as a water cooler. But like an elephant in a room few bosses want to see, if left unattended gossip can drain business productivity and sabotage morale. Karen Johnston, owner of Treatment Plan Marketing in Ipswich, spent a decade managing employees in dental surgeries. “The clinics were staffed by mainly females and I found gossip usually became worst when people were not happy with something in their own lives and would bring it to work,” Johnston says. Advertisement “Staff members would gossip about the hours, the jobs, their written job descriptions but you couldn't ignore and it hope it went away because, if left unchecked it can spiral out of control and I found it so important to nip it in the bud early to stop the 'mafias' you can see forming because those groups (of workers) can do a lot of damage if not broken up.” Johnston says she usually found talking one-on-one with a staff member who had started “venting” usually uprooted the grapevine. “I found if you just let them be heard and say 'look, I will look into this issue and come back to you' it usually goes away; but you must fulfil the promise and report back otherwise you will lose their trust.” Office “pods” have gagged gossip in Linda Reed-Enever's business in Bendigo in regional Victoria. Reed-Enever launched ThoughtSpot PR in 2012 and today has 10 employees. She credits her office's open-plan layout and egalitarian desk clusters with eliminating office hours' rumours. “You won't find a more bitchy industry than marketing so when I started my business I was adamant on having a fully open plan office making everything transparent, the good and the bad, because it means there is nowhere to hide,” Reed-Enever says. “We still have our celebrity gossip and what did you do on the weekend chats, but as far as malicious attacks go, the open plan has worked for us because all managers sit with their teams in a pod of two or three desks and at a glance we can see the whole team, which has encouraged a team building culture we love. “I always say to 'the girls' that work for me, 'I can fix anything' as long as I know what is going on so don't try to cover up because then I cannot do anything, and I won't trust you.'” Melbourne team strategist Sandi Givens, whose specialty is helping workplaces improve communication, says gossip comes in two forms in a workplace and it is important to understand the difference. “We are not saying never talk around the water-cooler about your kids or how your footy team played on the weekend – this type of chat can build a supportive office culture as its helps colleagues know each other as human beings,” Givens says. “Where problems arise is when individuals engage in misdirected negative communications in a workplace. That type of gossip is detrimental to productivity and to morale.” Givens has these recommendations for bosses and managers wanting to uproot an office grapevine: Model behaviours you want your team adopting: if you don't tolerate gossip, don't gossip yourself; Speak to workers about the tough issues: if you don't know how to, invest in management training; Make yourself available: try to talk to each worker on a regular and informal basis to build trust and cut the chance of unhappy workers wrecking havoc with nasty gossip. Corporate relations expert Tanja Lee Jones has managed staff during her 22-year career and agrees controlling workplace gossip – and its bedfellow, workplace bullying – is “one of the biggest challenges” small business owners face today. If left unaddressed it can leads to staff turnover, and each time an employee leaves and needs replacing it costs a business about 1.5 times their annual salary, according to South Australia government business and industry research. Jones says there are five key reasons people gossip: To be right about their own convictions; To unconsciously be the victim; To be safe and fit in; To feel significant and self-important; To avoid responsibility. If a boss is worried about the impacts of workplace gossiping on a business “start temperature gauging”, Jones advises. “Start asking questions: am I talking negatively myself to my staff about other staff members, customers, suppliers? A manager cannot expect a team to speak 'for' each other if they don't do it themselves; a fish always sinks from the head, as the saying goes.” You can also reference the article here Alternatively, you can copy and paste this URL in your bropwser: http://www.theage.com.au/small-business/how-to-gag-office-gossip-20130723-2qfrv.html

Is Office Chit-Chat harmful?

08 Aug 2013 02:45:00 GMT

A strange article on Smart Company's site ... and I'm not sure I agree with all of it. (Or much of it, come to think about it ...) Firstly, I don't believe the author has clearly defined the difference (and it's big one!) between office 'chit-chat' and office 'gossip'. Chit-chat is usually more about non-work related themes, such as discussions on footy tipping, the weather, politics or what we might be planning for our coming weekend. Gossip, however, most commonly has something of a nasty edge to it. It usually maligns someone (or a group of people) and frequently is based on assumptions, hearsay and/or a very narrow view of an issue. According to the article, there's a marketing group called Employment Office that interviewed 330 Australian employees about this subject. Excuse me? Only 330 people? Surely the writer isn't suggesting this is a statistically representative number when you consider the size of our workforce in this country! And when I searched for information about Employment Office (and I tried several search terms combined with 'marketing'), I came up with zilch. So it was with some scepticism I read the rest of the article. At one point the article states: "Occasional office banter is nothing new; workplace gossip has been a tool of procrastinators everywhere. But unfortunately, this isn’t something business owners have a lot of power to stop." Again, the author uses the terms 'office banter' and 'workplace gossip' as if they mean the same thing and are interchangeable. And then ... did I read that correctly? This isn't something business owners are able to control? If that's the case, we have a serious leadership problem that's more critical than the 'office banter'! One of the co-founders of E&I People Solutions is quoted in the article. And according to her and Employment Office, dealing with excessive 'chit'chat' is "not something the business owner should necessarily take on themselves – it’s something the employee must deal with themselves, for the most part." Pardon me? I normally find a lot of the Smart Company articles informative and thought-provoking - but this one really missed the mark for me. Maybe you should read it and form your own opinion. My brain wiring might have been off the day I read it. Here 'tis: http://tinyurl.com/kobb5wy

Have you witnessed Workplace Bullying?

08 Aug 2013 00:30:00 GMT

I saw this in Smart Company's materials ... if you're concerned about what you should do if you witness - or are the subject of - workplace bullying, this is a must read: http://tinyurl.com/mlby52a

Do you ask for help as often as you should?

21 Jul 2013 17:53:00 GMT

I've just received my latest Post Program Executive Report for a client I worked with last week. I used to do these myself - but then I finally saw the light ... The report involves calculating the numeric responses on the feedback sheets - the number of people who rated different aspects of the session 'Excellent', Very good', etc., as well as calulating the averages and entering the particpant comments. I can't tell you how long this used to take me do do on my own. Meanwhile, my client is not receiving the prompt, professional service I really want to give them. Enter Vanessa Ashby, The Exceptional Assistant. That's not only the name of her company, but the way she does her job. Vanessa is able to complete the reports in about one-tenth the time I reckon it used to take me - so the client receives this important information in a much more timely manner. And I can get on with other things on my ever-growing To Do List. It took me a very long while to learn to ask for help when I really should. There were always reasons not to ... They won't do it as well as I can It's too hard to explain this to someone else It will cost me money to outsource this If I was really, really good, I could just handle everything myself. and on the list goes ... So whether it's for business or something in your personal life, is it time you asked for help? PS. I probably shouldn't tell you how to get in touch with Vanessa, because she might get too busy to help me. But hey - she's definitely worth recommending to you if you're attempting to everything yourself in your business. Just Google 'The Exceptional Assistant' and you'll find her!

Happy Independence Day!

04 Jul 2013 01:00:00 GMT

OK ... so I'm thinking about indepedence today because I was born in the USA and spent the early years of my life there. And today is America's Independence Day - a national holiday where our break from England in 1776 is commemorated and celebrated. But it's a subject worthy of pondering ... How independent are you? Would you like more freedom and confidence in your life? This is the subject of this month's Snippets for Success! newsletter. To read the full article - and gain some tips on how you can instantly increase your independence and sense of control in your life - I've put a copy on my web site for you. http://www.sandigivens.com.au/newsletter_-_sandis_snippets_for_success Enjoy! And do take action - it's the only way to create change in your life!

Will this make things more fair?

01 Jul 2013 06:35:00 GMT

The Fair Work Amendment Bill 2013, which provides a new bullying jurisdiction for the Fair Work Commission (FWC), passed the Senate on 27 June. The bullying regime, which commences on 1 January 2014, allows bullied workers to apply to the FWC for help to resolve the matter. The FWC must deal with the issue within 14 days. Where it cannot be resolved between the parties, the FWC can make an order to prevent workplace bullying in the future. The FWC also has the power to dismiss applications and order costs on the grounds that they are frivolous or vexatious or without reasonable prospect of success. More fair or not, I believe this will keep a lot of HR professionals on their toes. Would love to know what you think - leave your comments below!

The link between workplace bullying and depression - it's real

27 Jun 2013 00:45:00 GMT

Safe Work Australia commissioned a study on the relationship bewteen workplace bullying and incidence of depression. Members of the Centre for Research on Ageing, Health and Wellbeing at the Australian National University found increased prevalence of person-related and work-related bullying where respondents reported negative work characteristics such as high job demands and low job control - as well as what they call 'poor organisational culture'. The findings are fascinating and are a must-read for all Leaders and HR Professionals. Wondering what constitutes (and is the difference between) person-related bullying and workplace-related bullying? The report has this to say: “'Person-related bullying' includes the spreading of gossip and rumours, and persistent attempts to humiliate someone. 'Work-related bullying' encompasses behaviour such as putting unreasonable pressure to produce work, withholding necessary information and setting impossible deadlines." Unsurprisingly, workplace bullying was strongly associated with increased risk of depression. You can read the full report here: http://www.safeworkaustralia.gov.au/sites/SWA/about/Publications/Documents/780/Wellbeing-depression-bullying-technical-findings.pdf And I strongly recommend you do.

Where are the Leaders?

12 Jun 2013 17:09:00 GMT

"Leadership is not about titles and positions, there are people with no titles who lead every day. … Leadership is about making a positive difference.” Carly Fiorina, former CEO of HP Hear, hear, Carly! So, how can you be a leader without a title? Here are 10 ways you can get started - today! Do something that needs to be done without anyone asking you to do it. Volunteer to take minutes at a meeting & distribute to everyone within 24 hours. Make a suggestion at work about how 1 process could be improved. Find a charity or cause you’re passionate about and contribute your time & skills. When someone at work is struggling with a task, offer your help. Talk with your manager about 1 area in which you want to develop your skills & come up with a plan to achieve that. Start a ‘Thought for the Week’ posted in your staff room or coffee area. (quotes, cartoons, something in the news for people to think about). Suggest your team has a monthly morning tea together to celebrate all the team members’ birthdays that fall in that month. Set up a great waste recycling system at work for paper, glass – maybe even light globes and mobile phones. Thank and compliment people – frequently! Leaders take initiative - they don't wait to be asked and they don't wait for permission. They use their judgement and common sense. They lead by doing things that others don't do. They are willing to be 'uncommon' and act in positive ways for the benefit of all concerned. Are you a Leader? Which idea will you implement today?

10 Dumb Ways to De-Motivate Your Team

29 May 2013 01:30:00 GMT

1.Ignore them Obvious, right? Yet there’s lots of ways to ignore people. Be constantly in meetings and/or out of the office. Say your ‘door is always open’, but it’s usually closed. Be distracted by your email or phone while they’re talking with you. Avoid eye contact as you walk through the office. Tell them you’ll get back to them – and then don’t. 2.Forget they have a life outside work When was the last time you asked a team member how their weekend was? Wished them Happy Birthday? Enquired about their spouse, kids or their favourite pastime? 3.Treat them like Robots Similar to #2, this is more about telling (or implying) that work hours are all about ‘head down, bottom up’ and just get on with your job. I vividly remember a manager saying to me “I don’t pay you to think, Sandi – I pay you to do.” 4.Never say ‘Thank You’ Lack of appreciation is one of the most commonly cited reasons for employees leaving an organisation. All it takes is 5 seconds and a sincere comment of gratitude for what they’ve done. 5.Answer their questions with “Because I’m the Boss …” Influence by authority can and does work. But it is usually short-lived. Failure to provide reasons or explanations (not justifications) for your decisions is just plain foolish – and dangerous. 6.Arrive late, leave early and have long lunches ‘Don’t do as I do – do as I say’ just doesn’t cut it. You’re the role model – be the example. 7.Have favourites Nothing’s worse for an employee than feeling powerless because you’re not one of the favoured ones. Remember being the last one picked for a team at school, or being outside of the ‘in crowd’? 8.Be indecisive Having to correct course after a less than favourable decision might frustrate your team – but the lack of any decision at all will be far more irritating and likely to kill their initiative. 9.Say you know something when you don’t It will always – I repeat always catch up with you. 10.Say you don’t know something when you do Most people are pretty smart – they know when someone’s pulling the wool over their eyes. Politicians have taught us how to pick up in this – don’t add to your team’s scepticism. Which ones are you guilty of? I'd love to hear your comments - please share your thoughts below!

Is Faking It a good idea?

08 May 2013 16:44:00 GMT

I'm sure you've heard the saying 'Fake it till you make it'. I've always disliked that. Probably because I have such a high value on authenticity and being the real you and true to yourself in all contexts. But here's a lady who's reshaped my thinking .. Here name is Amy Cuddy and she's a social psychologist. I watched her Ted Talk on 'Your Body Language shapes who you are'. It's a great presentation, and I recommend it to you if you have a spare 21 minutes. (It's had over 5 million views, so I'm not alone in being impressed by it!) I was delighted to hear her echo what I talk about in my workshops - that your body language speaks not only to others ... but also to you. How you hold your body impacts not only your thoughts, emotions and subsequent actions, but Amy explains how your body positioning alos affects your hormones - particularly testosterone and cortisol. Fascinating. But what I really loved was her take on the saying 'Fake it till you make it'. She shares her own personal story about what 'faking it' feels like ... and suggests a better, more useful saying for us would be Fake it till you BECOME it. It's all about being real - really good food for thought. If you want to skip the more scientific, research stuff, advanced the video to 15 minutes and 40 seconds - that's where she tells her very moving and impactful story. You can find Amy's presentation here: http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are.html And let me know what you think by leaving a comment on this post - I'd love to hear from you!

10 Ways to reduce Stress in your Team!

07 May 2013 17:52:00 GMT

Too many times, we end up putting a bandaid over the stress, rather than dealing with the cause. And so, the stressful cycle continues, on and on and on and on ... Band Aids that are frequently used in organisations include: 1. Special Pizza lunches - paid for by the company 2. Friday night drinks 3. 1-day Team Building/Bonding events 4. A once-in-a-blue-moon social evening for staff and their partners 5. Putting a 'Suggestion Box' in the lunch room or at the coffee station (it usually just collects waste paper) 6. Managers telling staff 'my door is always open' - but hey, they're never in their office! There's nothing inherently 'wrong' with any of these activities or actions - we just need to be aware that, on their own, they are unlikely to resolve a problem or issue permanently. Obviously, there can be many causes of stress in a team, and therefore the 'treatment' needs to be tailored in each situation. (You wouldn't have your GP prescribed an antibiotic when you break your leg, just because that's what they gave you last time you visited them with a cold and it seemed to help!) To get you started in your thinking, here are some ideas that will, at the very least, begin to create a more pleasant, harmonious and cooperative work environment ... 1. Have regular morning tea breaks as a team. Spend 20 minutes sharing your successes and brainstorming how to deal with the challenges. 2. Increase the effectiveness of your meetings. Only have them if you absolutely need to, invite only those that need to be there, and keep the agenda short and sharp. 3. Instigate a 'Thought of the Week' board. Rotate responsibility for weekly postings. People can share inspirational quotes, cartoons, a recent positive news story, humourous photos - anything that can lighten the mood and/or get people thinking - and talking! 4. Once a month, have a birthday tea for everyone celebrating their birthday in that month. 5. Have pot luck cultural lunches. Everyone brings a small plate of food to share that is from their country of origin (or that of their ancestors). 6. Set up a 'Who's this?' board - baby photos of team members and people can guess who's who. 7. Set up team agreements around what are the top 5 to 10 behaviours that you want to exhibit in your team that creates the culture and environment you desire. 8. Run a Positivity Raffle - each time someone helps another team member, they receive a raffle ticket. After several weeks (or whatever length of time you choose), draw the winner (and make it a nice prize, like movie tickets, restaurant voucher, etc.). The more helpful someone has been, the more tickets they'll receive and more chance to win. 9. Allow people to book uninterrupted time to work in small offices/meetings rooms. It's amazing how much more productive we can be without distractions and frequent stops-starts in our thought processes. 10. Ensure all team members are trained in the skill of managing conflict and having honest, authentic communication with each other. Empower people to work through their own disagreements so you as the team leader don't keep having to play mediator. So ... which one of these ideas can you use this week? Remember ... there's no power in just knowing and thinking about something ... you need to take action! So get to it!

Excuses & Lies in the Workplace

19 Mar 2013 08:25:00 GMT

As I stood in line to be served at our local Post Office, an item caught my eye. It was a small box (about 10cm square) that evidently held lots of cards with information on them. (It was sealed, so I couldn't look at the actual contents.) And the title on the box was this: 400 Excuses and Lies for the Workplace Ways to get yourself out of trouble when you should be working Don't get me wrong - I can imagine many cards (read 'excuses' and/or 'lies') would probably be quite funny. Yet I was also struck by the fact that many of my clients's businesses have cultures that are almost literally built on lies and excuses. Something goes wrong, and you can hear "Not my fault" being shouted from all corners of the building. Ask who last spoke to the angry customer whose letter you've just read and you'll hear "Not me!" echoing around the halls. Inquire why something hasn't been done on time, and you'll actually tap into the most creative resources in the organisation! In her book Stop Workplace Drama, Marlene Chism suggests resistance is expressed in one of four ways - Blame - "I would have been on time, but Fred stopped me in the hallway to ask a question" Resentment - "I couldn't get that job done because Mary is the only ones with the keys to the cabinet with the data files - obviously I'm not senior enough to have my own set." Justification - "Everyone else has long lunches regularly, so I thought it would be OK if I did, too." Judgement - The Accounts Department is full of idiots." People seem to resist 'taking responsibility' for something, as they think this then means whatever they are taking responsibility for was their 'fault' in the first place. Taking responsibility simply means you are willing to step up to the plate and correct something. We all have the ability to have a response to something. And our response will generally either help or hinder the resolution of the problem. So ... what do you choose? Will you blame, resent, justify or judge? Or will you step up, show your leadership and take responsibility?

Do you know how important Followers are?

09 Nov 2012 02:30:00 GMT

Especially the first follower. For a quick lesson in Leadership and Followship (3 minutes of your time), check out this YouTube clip ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=fW8amMCVAJQ For those who like to read, a transcript of the narration is below the video. I have seen this before - a long time ago - and seeing it again got me to thinking that 'first followers' are almost more brave than the leaders. Leaders (especially those that come equipped with the official organisational title), are kind of expected to stick their neck out. We look to them to initiate, to take some risks and venture into unknown territory before the rest of us. But the first follower has to be really gutsy. After all, even for many extroverts, it's often easier to sit back and wait to join in once some momentum has built and we are joining a group of people - not just the 'leader'. I agree with what this clip says - that the first follower is really a leader in their own right. Do you have enough courage to be a first follower at work?

The Acute Heptagram of Impact

16 Oct 2012 01:00:00 GMT

The Acute WHAT of HUH? I know - the name seems crazy, but the thinking behind it is fascinating - and useful! Seth Godin, for me, is one of the most innovative and orginal thinkers of our time. In one of his latest blog posts, he wrote about how, during the implementation of new projects (read 'change'), you can have the right strategy, tactics and execution ... but still not reach your desired destination. Mind you, when things go wrong, this is all most human beings would consider looking at to see where the 'fault' lay. But Seth tells us there are 4 more areas which, if not robust and clearly evident, can cause the downfall of many great initiatives. And these are the areas that are not typically considered to be pertinent to a project's success. 1. The reputation of the people, team and organisation who are working on the project 2. The persistence of the team 3. The desire of the team to succeed 4. The team's underlying fears Seth suggests that if a project isn't going according to plan, it is typically due to one or more of these elements not being right. (Actually, he says in his experience, it's normally all of them.) Really great food for thought ... what are you looking at when things are going off the rails in your organisation?

Hooray for Helen Conway!

16 Oct 2012 00:47:00 GMT

Who's Helen Conway? She's the Director of the Equal Opportunity for Women in the Workplace Agency. And she says it's "disgraceful" that you can count on one hand the number of female Chief Executives of Australia's top 200 companies listed on the Stock Exchange. (By the way, they are Gail Kelly - Westpac, Kerrie Mather - Sydney Airports Corporation, Katie Page - Harvey Norman, Alison Watkins - Graincorp and Chua Sock Koong - Singapore Telecommunications Ltd.) So we may have a female Governor General, a female Prime Minister and now a female Speaker of the House - but women are still miles behind when it comes to the gender pay gap and seeing women in very visible leadership roles. And it's pleasing to see Helen Conway can see the bigger picture, too. She says men are treated equally unfairly when it comes to flexible work arrangments. "This is not a women's problem: It's a family issue. I have not seen any immaculate conceptions - it takes two to tango. "Men are also disadvantaged because it's very difficult for men to take up flexible work arrangements. "The focus should be on gender equality and making it normal for men and women." Bring on the revolution, I say!

How do we help Rural Australia grow?

16 Oct 2012 00:00:00 GMT

It's been a long-standing desire of mine to take my work more frequently to areas outside of the capital cities of Australia. People living in rural areas do not have the usual smorgasbord of training and development opportunities that those living in the big cities do. And having been blessed to work in far-flung localities such as Port Macquarie, Mt Isa, Warnambool, Broken Hill, Mildura, Ballarat (and next month Karratha) ... I've witnessed first-hand the hunger so many of these folk have for learning. So I was pleased today to read an article in VECCI's publication Radar, some of which said this in relation to their Regional Business Convention being held in Geelong, Victoria: "The dividend from investing in human capital in our regions should not be underestimated – studies consistently show the best performing regions are those endowed with adequate levels of human capital. We must also continue to invest in innovation and turn the knowledge we have into new products, services and markets. The best performing regions are those who share ideas, challenge the way they have traditionally carried out business and explore new ways of converting research into commercially viable processes, products and services." The recommendations from the Convention should be released soon - can't wait to read about what was discussed. (For the full article, click here)

Are you a Rucus-Maker?

14 Oct 2012 23:04:00 GMT

If, like me, you find Seth Godin interesting, treat yourself to viewing this chat with this amazing thinker ... http://www.goodlifeproject.com/

Let's watch our language

10 Oct 2012 06:47:00 GMT

While listening to talk-back radio today as I drove between appointments, I heard the news of a recently conducted study that reported men in their 20's and 30's are just as 'clucky' and want children just as much - if not more - than their female counterparts. And how do we refer to those men and women who don't have children? The Professor from Newcastle University called them 'childless' people. I prefer 'child-free' people. Why? Think of the word 'less' - it means something 'less than', 'inferior to', 'sub-standard' ... or 'reduced' in some way. It was 3 ½ long years before my husband and I conceived our son, and I couldn't count the number of times I heard the words "Oh, you're childless, are you?" At the time, I felt even the tone with which this was said was demeaning and unkind. Logically I know this was rarely (if ever) the speaker's intention - but the phrase hurt nonetheless. Especially when followed up by "Oh - that's right - you're such a career woman, you probably don't want kids." Little did they know the ache in my heart for my yet-to-be-conceived child. So, 2 things: 1. Women - let's aim to be more supportive of each other and be aware that other women may not have children, not because of a choice they have made, but because of some deeper more sensitive reason. 2. Language is important. Whenever we add the suffix 'less' at the end of a word, the subconscious mind may well be processing this with negative connotations.

Time to take a walk

05 Oct 2012 00:30:00 GMT

I heard on the radio this morning on the way into the city that today is evidently Take a Long Walk Day. Personally I'd never heard of this before, but the story behind it is fascinating. On August 18, 2000, Canadian man Jean Beliveau, left his home and started an 11 year walk that took him around the world. After his business went bankrupt, he started out on his journey on his 45th birthday. Initially he was running/walking to escape the pain of his business failure. Yet throughout 75,000km across 64 countries, his mission changed. His goal became to promote world-wide peace. (The fuller story can be found here: http://preview.tinyurl.com/8syj8ra [Open in new window] Today apparently marks the first anniversary of his return home, hence 'Take a Long Walk Day'. So that's what I plan to do - our border collie/kelpie cross dog will love me for it! What about you? If not a long walk, certainly a short one will do. The main thing is to get more active ... our national obesity figures aren't anything to be proud of, that's for sure!

What can you learn from dropping a Mud Cake?

04 Oct 2012 00:00:00 GMT

It was getting late and I was tired. The next day I was facilitating a full day session with a client, with a very early start and late finish. The next day was also my husband's birthday. 'No problems' I said to myself - 'just need to be a bit organised.' And I was. With all the food purchased, after dinner the night before 'B'-Day, I prepared all the ingredients for the slow cooker. All I needed to do in the morning was toss it in the cooker, turn it on to low, and look forward to arriving home to the wonderful smell of a beautiful meal ready to go. And oh, yes, that's right - we needed a birthday cake. Mud cake is a favourite in our home, and I have a recipe for a really great one. So I mixed it up, got it in the oven (it smelled beautiful!) ... then 'ding' ... the timer told me it was time to take it out. You've probably guessed what happened then - mud cake all over the door of the oven, rather than in the pan. Heavens knows how I managed to drop it, but I did. Now my usual response to this (already feeling tired, worried about my early start the next day and, up to that point, feeling very chuffed with myself for being so organised!) would have been to throw it all in the bin and start over. Instead, I scooped it all into the pan and decided to just go to bed. The next day when I got home from work, I made the icing and just smeared it all over ... and voila! What our family has now lovingly dubbed the "deconstructed mud cake that mom makes". So what can dropping a mud cake teach you? It can teach us to reframe experiences. This incident could have easily led me down a negative, pessimistic path of thinking (and feeling!). Instead, I reframed my thinking about it to a perspective of 'well, that certainly is annoying, but it's done now. So what can I do - if anything - to rescue the situation?' As my husband and son told me, it still tasted amazing - it just looked funny! It can also remind us of what's really important in life. A beautiful 'perfect' birthday cake? Or fun, enjoyable and special time with loved ones. And dropping the mud cake has also taught me (or rather reminded me!) that some of the best, most memorable and fun(ny) times in our lives are those where everything doesn't go exactly according to plan. So what experiences might you be able to reframe in the coming month? It's good to remember ... don't sweat the small stuff!

A somber note about the past 2 days

03 Oct 2012 23:30:00 GMT

Only 4 days into my blogging challenge and I've already 'fallen off the wagon'. I'm forgiving myself, though, as the reason i haven't posted for a few days is both sad and important. We heard that one of our son's Year 12 classmates took his own life earlier this week. There are no words to say that will console those grieving right now. There is nothing that can be done that will bring this young man back to us or quickly release our sorrow. Yet being the practical, 'I've got to do something' kind of person that I am, I've decided that something I can do is write this post. Parents - please stay connected with your kids. Communicate, laugh, listen - and most importantly, just be there for them. Children - share your problems, talk with your friends, take time out to re-energise and nurture yourself. Ask for help when you need it - there is absolutely no shame in this. So many people think they have to 'do it all alone' and are frightened to show any vulnerability or 'crack in their armour'. But the truth is - none of us knows everything. None of us are 'perfect' or have all the answers. So reach out as you need to. And if you or someone you love is in need of some extra help, here are some great resources - please use them, and encourage anyone who needs help to do so, too. ReachOut.com - Online Youth Mental Health Service http://au.reachout.com/ Headspace - National Youth Mental Health Foundation http://www.headspace.org.au/ Kids Helpline (for those under 18 years old) http://www.kidshelpline.com.au Phone: 1800 55 1800 Lifeline http://www.lifeline.org.au/ Phone: 13 11 14 Take care of yourself - and those you love.

I've taken the Ultimate Blog Challenge for October!

01 Oct 2012 03:15:00 GMT

I'm so delighted with my new web site! And especially the fact that I can easily post blogs here ... so to get me in the habit of writing regularly, I've joined the Ultimate Blog Challenge for October! http://ultimateblogchallenge.com/ Over the coming 31 days, I'll be writing about Team Dynamics, Assertiveness, Leadership and interesting things I'm noticing going on in the world (and there's always lots of that!) I'd be delighted for you to subscribe to my RSS feed, leave your comments - even share with me what you think I could write about. Wish me luck! And see you tomorrow!

Is it time to stop pretending?

22 Aug 2012 21:26:05 GMT

You can see interesting things in the most unexpected places … I spent last weekend in Nagambie, Victoria – lucky me … a whole weekend with female friends (and met some new ones, too) and spending time pursuing one of my favourite pastimes: scrapbooking. (For those that are wondering ‘what’s that?’, it’s putting photos in albums with journaling about the people and events, and decorating the pages with colours and different kinds of enhancements. Personally, I find this very therapeutic and relaxing!) We stayed at a well-run, well-equipped and very clean and comfortable motel. Though it was too cold for a dip, I did wander out to look at the pool – and found this quite out-of-place and obviously very fake palm tree, complete with plastic coconuts. I certainly respect the fact that the owners were attempting to add some ‘ambience’ to the pool area … yet it got me thinking … Why do human beings – and businesses – attempt to be something they’re not? Why does a stay at home mum hesitate to say that she’s not in paid employment, and instead describes herself as a ‘home engineer’ or ‘’domestic manager’? (Mind you, I totally get why women don’t refer to themselves as ‘housewives’ – they’re not married to their houses!) And why, in their promotional material, does a company refer to themselves as ‘Voted Australia’s #1 XYZ Company’? I mean, who voted? When was the poll? Why didn’t I get a ballot? I see this so commonly in teams … people pretending all sorts of things … Pretending they are happy with the boss’s latest decision, while openly complaining about it behind the boss’s back … Pretending they know things they don’t … Pretending they don’t know things that they do … Pretending they don’t care whether they have input as to how they do their job, but secretly wanting more responsibility and autonomy … Pretending ‘all is forgiven’, when they actually still harbor deep resentments and frustrations about events of the past … It’s time to STOP pretending! Only when people are open, honest and transparent can we truly have effective communication, true mutual respect & trust and the ability to work harmoniously together. Yes – it might be scary. It won’t always be easy, and it certainly won’t be plain sailing each and every day. But all this pretending is only creating more problems – or at best, sweeping things under a carpet that gets lumpier and bumpier to walk on every day.

Who are the real heroes?

06 Aug 2012 21:21:47 GMT

There’s no doubt Australia loves its sportspeople. Now in the throws of the Olympics, we are bombarded with media about these ‘heroes’. We can send ‘Hero Messages’ to support and congratulate them. We hang on to the hope of them bringing home the largest-ever haul of Gold Medals. One radio ad has a male Olympian saying (with a profound tone and impactful pausing) “Every second of my life has led up to this moment.’ Guess what? Every second in my life has led up to this moment, too! I think the potential result of this adulation of sportspeople is that we forget they are people. Human beings just like you and me. They have their strengths, their limitations, their skills and their Achilles heels. They’re not super-human, they’re not infallible. Yes, they are exceptional in what they do. But so are you. And so is the person who sits next to you at work, the person riding opposite you on the train. There are countless ‘ordinary’ people who do extraordinary things every day. The quadriplegic who still wakes every day and makes the most of what they can do. The single parent who juggles work and family life, struggling to make ends meet and is doing a wonderful job in raising good human beings. The nurse in the operating theatre who literally helps save a life. The senior citizen who volunteers 50 hours a week to visit house-bound people with handicaps of some sort. The people who tirelessly deliver meals on wheels, work in soup kitchens, read books to the blind, visit lonely people with no family nearby who live in Nursing Homes. And the list goes on. So yes, enjoy the Olympics. Cheer for our country’s representatives. Celebrate their achievements. But question whether or not they are our country’s real heroes.

Are you ready to step up?

31 Jul 2012 20:40:49 GMT

“Leadership is not a popularity contest” I remember my good friend and colleague, Robyn Henderson, sharing that thought with me many years ago. And I truly believes she’s right. I look at what’s happening in our political system and it makes me sick. We vote these people in, we trust them to spend out money (our taxes) in responsible and appropriate ways. Yet it seems forever to end up being a popularity contest of some sort. Their decisions seem more often based on what will win them votes at the next election than on either keeping promises they made or doing what is best for the community or our country. And the same applies to our business world. I see so many Team Leaders, Managers and Directors taking the line of least resistance, making the ‘easy’ decision and not wanting to ‘rock the boat’ by doing something different, innovative or daring. They want to simply ‘keep the peace’ with the shareholders, the staff, their immediate boss … A true leader is visionary, takes risks and realizes that sometimes the best or ‘right’ decision may be unpopular. But they still show the courage to make that decision and live with the results. Is today the day you’ll show your leadership? If not you – then who? If not now – then when? The world is waiting … your brave, courageous and decisive voice is needed – now.

24 hours without heating

23 Jul 2012 20:39:12 GMT

Having your heater break down during a Melbourne winter is not much fun – especially when you are working from home. I’d put on as many layers of clothing as I could and still be able to move my arms and fingers to do my work on my computer. And I was still cold. Very late in the afternoon, I managed to track down a plumber who knew our system and said he could help – the next day. “I don’t suppose there’s anything I could say that would make you be able to come tonight?” I asked. Apologetically, he explained he had to go out that evening, but assured me he’d arrive by 11 am the next day. Suddenly I realized how pathetic my plea must have sounded. Then I found my inner voice saying ‘Good Grief Sandi – get a grip! If you feel cold, just think of the homeless people, for goodness sake!’ And so that’s what I did. Yes, I retired to bed early that night. But I did have a lovely warm doona to snuggle under, a comfortable bed to lie on, and my soul mate lying next to me. How blessed was I? Life is all about perspective. And I believe if we find ourselves in what we feel is a bad, challenging and/or less-than-ideal situation, it is worthwhile to pause and think about our response to this – and consider how our situation might look from another, less fortunate perspective. It can make for a great reality check …

What a cracker of a night it was!

19 Jul 2012 20:35:07 GMT

That’s how the evening was promoted – ‘A Cracker of a Night!’ And it didn’t disappoint. I’ve long known of Melina Shamworth’s business and her dedication to make a real difference in the lives of as many people as she possibly can. But last night was the first time I’ve had the chance to attend one of her events. After being greeted at the Registration table at the Fitzroy Town Hall, we received our name badge, bottle of water and were escorted to one of the 8 large tables where work was already well underway. I got to start at the card making table where we assembled already-cut pieces to make some simple yet delightful Christmas cards. Conversation with the 7 complete strangers at the table flowed easily, bouncing from ‘where do you work?’ to exchanging opinions on Downton Abbey TV series, the book 50 Shades of Gray and raising teenagers. Melina briefly interrupted our work to talk with us about her company, M.A.D. (Making A Difference) Woman, and where the results of our evening’s work was to go. If we could work quickly enough, we would be able to create Christmas Crackers, cards and table decorations for at least 2,000 people who would otherwise miss out on these nice treats on Christmas Day. All of our creations would be distributed through FoodBank Australia. Then it was time for Pizza and casual networking before being invited to move to another table and meet new people. I’d been eyeing off the huge pile of small bright coloured sticks at another table, so that’s where I headed. Count 16, put them in a bag with instructions and voila – a game that would later be inserted in the crackers. Other tables cut the hats for inside the crackers, and made the tubes, tissue paper wrapping and ribbon for the final assembly. Small chocolates, an inspirational quote, a ‘may contain nuts’ warning and, of course, the thing that makes the cracker ‘pop’ completed the contents. Then it was all hands on deck to assemble the crackers while the chatting and laughing continued to fill the room with the wonderful sound of a community working happily together to reach a common goal. And so we did. At the end of the night, Melina assured us we’d reached the goal (teasingly suggesting we’d done better work than the group in Sydney had the previous night!) and told us to be sure to collect our ‘goodie bags’ as we left. Goodie bags? I had no expectation we’d be taking something away with us … much less 2 cookbooks, some sample makeup and other bits and pieces were our reward for what was really very enjoyable and easy work. Actually – I tell a lie. The real reward I received that night was a full heart, a warm feeling of meaningful contribution, a lightness in my step and a smile on my face knowing that, thanks to Melina, I, too, had been able to make a difference that night. PS. I encourage you to visit Melina’s site and consider attending some of her events. Especially if you’re single – she has Soup Kitchen Nights that only unattached people can attend, and I hear that several successful couplings have blossomed from these evenings!